What matters?? Heart or mind ^&%$#@?????

A common question where most of us say..my heart says this and my head says that. I did a lot of brain storming..trust me it took years and i kept thinking about this concept. May be a voice of me and inner me?? May be..i am not sure! Recently when i was contemplating on this..i felt that the clarity of thought is what matters. There is always ONE thing that exists, it can be either this or that - Period! Any kind of emotional, intellectual, intelligent, profitable decision anything which is more convincing to you is what matters. If there is a doubt or where there is a parallel thought or a conflict then once you weigh that, definately it cannot be 50:50, it will be 51:49 or anything in an unequal proportion.
Clarity of thought will come once we slowly remove each thought. One has to concentrate and take time to get the clarity. Once you get it am sure you will say..."mind, body and soul..:-)
Mind, body and soul---these are not three different things, no one will say this decision is of my mind, this is of my body or this is my soul's decision. So i think that even heart and mind are no different. It is purely a matter of clarity in thought what matters.
Keep thinking!

Peak Happiness

This incident happened when i went to Kanyakumari. Those lovely mountains, beautiful locales the nature was too good. I was lost in the beauty of the nature, those lovely colour combinations etc.. i thought how the creator used his own canvas to paint such lovely colour combinations. When i was lost completely; i could hear no voice, my mom was shouting and asking me to get back to the hotel..i was paying no attention. Then i slowly realised that whatever i saw for that moment is history, a second look will not create the same emotion which i had earlier. Those lovely mountains got imprinted in my mind. I get the same happiness whenever i think of that. Now whenever i look at photographs, paintings of nature ...i tend to think that the same would create similar ectasy if i was in that location and feel bad ( u read it right) that the same will become history.
The real enthusiasm lies before getting what you want and once you get it you may not feel the same for it.
I was in my usual self ...i thought...you get happiness , you do/see something again u get the peak hapiness ( this is my defination of first time happiness), then it becomes history. Happiness, happiness happiness and we are finding happiness in various deeds too.

Now my doubt is, can we stay still (remain) at peak happiness state? There is no stepping down from that state, a state which should not become a history at any point of time. Is it possible?

My grandpa once told me that " Dependent bliss is happiness and independent happiness is bliss"..hmmmmm...points to ponder.

My little colour crayons

I observed something seriously important and started thinking..is there a concept called being unconditional or all the people in the world including me are selfish ..Before explaining what it is all about, i want to mention what made me think....
When ever i see sages, realised souls, social workers, charitable organisations etc who serve people unconditionally, i used to think what made them do/take up all these leaving the pleasures of life...i didn't wanted to assume anything and i started contemplating.....and the result is "a mountain named happiness".


Whenever i was happy or hear a good news etc i always enjoyed the moment. When i was in I'st standard, my friend gifted me a pack of colour crayons on my birthday and that was the best gift i ever had. The moment i used to come home, first thing i used to do is to get a rough book and draw colourful houses, coconut tress, birds etc. i hardly used to hear any noise beside, my mom used to ask me about my home work (i used to complete the next day before going to school), my friends used to call me out to play games (sudden touch, apple cut, chain cut, seven stones etc) but the happiness the crayons gave me was soo much, that i hardly heard them i drew them till i exhaused those little crayons. I loved the gift so much that i gave my undivided attention to them and playing, parents etc just not interested me. Such was the power of love for crayons in my i'st standard where i derived maximum happiness.
May be the sages, sisters etc the people whom i mentioned must have loved their work or interests that they could hardly get disturbed by the external forces.

Inner me...

I know…..the title "Inner me" sounded weird to me as if I am "me" then what is it that is prompting me to do and not to do. It is like they show in old telugu movies when those characters are in some conflict suddenly another character with subtle body appears and confuses (only in movies and not in reality) further. More or less I am mentioning the same. It happened many times to me..when i sat to recite few sanskrit verses ..in my room, as i started i overheard a song "Tauba tumhare ye ishaare..." a song of Mr. Khan...automatically i started visualizing the song...and after 5 mins i realized that i already recited 50 verses....!!!!!!

Hmm..what was i doing? Am i reciting those sanskrit verses or was in those Greece locales??? I can’t think of a better example to understand (not realize) that there is me and another Inner me.

Thoughts Plait

Lot of times i keep thinking consciously or unconsciously the thoughts that come to my mind. There is absolutely no control over the mind if we dont watch it closely. The other day i was waiting for the system to boot..my mind was filled with the reply i have to give to one escalated email. At that point my eyes fell on the news paper..my thoughts shifted to the horoscope coloumn ( fact or not it gives me some kind of message) after reading it automatically i turned to read about page 3 celebrities and kept wondering what do they do in life. Is it just that they get ready and try to be in news or attend an openning of an art center or attend some politicians meeting ??? automatically started imagining myself in their place....my thoughts again shifted as to how will i look in those jazzy dressing, etiquettes and how will i manage to look ..my dressing, hairstyle etc. The moment i thought about dressing ..my thoughts shifted on various attires once i dreamt of wearing and how i should keep fit ...the moment i thought about keeping fit..my thoughts again shifted exercising and keeping fit...how i used to go for morning walks and how i was afraid of stray dogs ( i blame them for not going on morning walks :-) )...the moment i remembered dogs..i sensed some sort of tension in my mind...and realised that i had to log in with my id and password.
I logged in and thought why i allowed my thoughts to shift from one situation to another??? Why cant i exercise control over my thoughts..??
From then onwards i always try to keep a track of what is going on in my mind. I just think of that situation and leave the rest. Believe me it is not easy!!!!!

I have to always be alert and awake...It is very easy to get carried away in thoughts..though i am a dreamer but my ultimate goal is to achieve the thoughtless stage. Is it possible????

Probably i have to check as to what is going on and atleast think what is required for that moment and that's all. This incident was really funny- the other day i was so obsessed with this idea of checking my thoughts....while i was drafting an email..one of the employee's last name was Kapoor and obviously my thought automatically shifted to Kareena kapoor ( and u know why..;-)...suddenly someone inside me cautioned me that i have to draft the mail and not think of Ms Kapoor as she will no way help me in my work...It works.

I told myself...mission accomplished..the plait of thoughts can be controlled only if i want to...and i also have this conflict in my mind as to ...if i enjoy thinking then why cant i enjoy doing it??? Yes i enjoy thinking..however...after sometime i felt i was going nowhere. There is no meaning in what i was doing...i can finish my lifetime thinking endlessly but what's the use??...what am i doing to myself? How will this benefit me to move on...?
My next focus was on the inner voice...now all my thoughts are on that....