The Upbringing Effect ( UBE)

It was Friday where I promised my friends to meet. The plan was made 3 weeks ago. It was in Subway an afternoon where we met and gossiped and laughed to the maximum which gave people on other table irritation, complex etc. We ordered Paneer Tikka on honey oat base of course vegetarian …then my friends ordered chicken some stuff. My friends ordered some energy drink and I zeroised on cappuccino....the first thing I heard from them was “You first taste this energy drink, baad me tum nai piyoge and wiase bhi hume kuch farak nai padta” they were very honest.

I am the vegetarian among them was in for something described as an 'unpleasant phenomenon'. (We always fixed days whenever they can eat non veg as few of them do not eat non veg on Thursday’s or Saturdays for their own reasons!)
I have no problem with people eating non vegetarian or hog before me. I never had problem with my friends enjoying on chilly chicken, Apollo fish, ginger chicken, prawns etc ( I have gained some knowledge on the varieties)

"What should I do?" I asked myself and thought that I am 100% influenced by my upbringing. You see, the major influences in my life from home have been Antu, engili and Aacharam These are the major ones which effected , which are effecting my personal and social life.

Let me explain what these are –
Antu is differentiating cooked and uncooked food. Ghee, curds, butter milk, pickles, vegetables etc are all so called uncooked food and Rice, boiled ones are all cooked. You need to wash your hands (touch a drop of water with a finger) if you touch rice and then want to touch ghee and not vice versa..may be uncooked food is superior %^$&&** …we were told that is for general hygiene.
Engili means other’s tasted food and we were taught to avoid such contamination.
Aacharam- Aacharam includes lot of other things like Madi (Madi is taking bath before pooja, before cooking, before chanting) etc.Acharam includes following all these religiously else the consequences will be sprinkling turmeric water etc

All this is practised in our house. Since I am coming from this type of background and influences I had to go through lot of tough times when it came to sharing a Hyderabad house biryani in one plate with 5 spoons in it or tasting food from my friends tiffin boxes. Most of the times I avoided, was an escapist and got a name as an egoistic/ attitudish lady. Sometimes I used to tell them (with gathered courage) that I don’t eat engili.

I have never tasted non vegetarian in my life though many tried to play pranks. I know that given a choice, I would still opt to remain vegetarian. The reason being I cant imagine killing a healthy animal and feasting on it. I once witnessed bakrid where the head of the family slits the throat of the goat, entire family prays( for forgiveness or permission !!). I see lots of sheep, chicken stuffed in an auto and their poor heads speak an unknown language. I decided that I will never taste/eat non vegetarian in my life.

I do not blame or will blame the sort of upbringing I was given, which, in a way, hampers my adaptability in the world. I respect all that I have mentioned earlier, aacharam’s and I am I am following because my ancestors followed and I believe in them , few I don’t as I fail to understand the reason behind….tried to get more practical reasons for all these aacharam’s but unable to get a concrete convincing answer.

The horror show comes when it hurts others and their sentiments/ feelings which I never did deliberately or never even thought about its after effects as I know only these form my code of conduct from my upbringing.

Anyways, how does this matter as to what kind of a person I am or what are my thoughts etc

What would happen if I were to get away from these influences? I am sure all these got injected in me and I would just not do, because I believe I should not do them. But what about all these things that I ritualistically follow right now, but do not believe in? If I think of some people getting hurt or shall I not bother as I am obsessed with my beliefs? Would I let them go? Should i? I like doing them not because that gives me some pride or something but because they have become a part of life and I cant imagine myself being away from them. I can neither eat engili nor can eat non vegetarian.

Does upbringing matter?
If so, how much?
Tell me what you all think about this. I love to hear your opinions and view points to gauge my thoughts.

Wednesday came on Saturday "Fakr hai"

After a long time i felt i saw a great movie "Wednesday". The plot the entire movie made me sit on the edge of the chair. Need not mention the legendary actors default emotions (Naseeruddin shah and Anupam kher) but for the first time i liked Jimmy shergil. The plot on terrorists, questioning indian govt for not resolving the issues even after 10 years, I could actually relate to that movie as the hero is a "Common stupid man". I loved the bomb blast, the hacker's scene. Director Neeraj pandey's direction was at his best.
I never wrote any review neither gave a feedback about a film but this one is something which i liked a lot in recent times.

An advice with a purpose in disguise

My cousins asked me about my profile in office. What do I do etc. I sincerely described. When I was answering them I got an out of the world thought:-D.
I am not paid for what ever I do but I am paid for what I have to do. Whatever I do apart from the requirement is charity. So, I have to do what is expected out of me.
Now, why am I telling this:-B
My out of the world thought has 2 aspects, 1) We human beings most of them keep thinking about the purpose of life, reason for birth etc etc. My inner me replied that we are born for a purpose, agreed! All the surprises in life, next moments, new people we meet, new tasks we take up, new advices we give/take etc is all about that purpose and form the purpose. Otherwise why do you think life is so unprectiable???..Think carefully there is a thin line to understand. Once I get more clarity I may elaborate more.
2) Aspect II deals with "Doing things right" is what we have to do. I thought we need to list out the things (not a time table but I used the word to list out for clarity) that we have to do in life with bearest minimum complaints and this is our core job and basic purpose of life, this does not mean household responsibilities alone, it is all about doing what you are supposed to do with your first, second circle (I mean family first circle and friends, relatives etc the second and third need not be in that order). For few, purpose may be revealed once you pass out the first level or circle ...may be for people like me coz I am unable to think beyond this. I seriously cannot think of a better purpose currently.
..I know I need a break too!!!!